Coping with variance (coping with injustice...)?

Tuesday night £100 rebuy, 1st pays £8k. 13 left.

Hero (me): K10

Villain (random donkey): 77

Flop: K 10 2

All in.

Pot: 80k (Tournament Average 60k).

Guess what the turn is?

One fucking time man. The dude who went on to win the tournament granted he is a good player, but he plays £10-£20, he hardly needs the money. Me, £8k would be a break through for me.

Last 2 weeks has been a sickening mixture of negative variance, and deep tournament runs with nothing to show for it but a £2k downswing.

Last night reminded me how brutal poker can be when the cards go against you. Looking back now, I really didn't do anything wrong. I got coolered several times, and when I was on the right side of a cooler, I got drawn out on. Before you know it you are £700 in the hole.

Keep cool, keep calm. Play the fuck through it. This is the motherfucking reason we have bankrolls! Come on Yigit, believe in yourself.

I would of been down an additional £100 if it weren't for the gorgeous Victoria Coren.

Most people know who Vicky is, even though I haven't met her before I have always seen her around in the card room playing the high stakes games. I remember she took down the London EPT event for £500k couple of years back. She is pretty big in various media forms, and a part time poker player (that doesn't do credit to her poker achievements -she is big time OK?).

Anyway, she sat in my £1-£2 rake game with some dude behind her, apparently writing an article on poker (something about how you can make more money, or make money quicker playing poker than depositing it in a saving account of some sort due to the shit interest rates....meh..)

She sat down with about £100, and only wanted to win £10. She played a few orbits, lost a few pots. Then to cut a long story short, I doubled her up (hence proving her point for the article), all in pre flop 10 10 vs AK, she spiked an ace.

She left the table.

Then came back 10/15 minutes later, and threw a £100 chip over to me, saying it wasn't fair that she hadn't given me an opportunity to win it back.

I obviously pleaded with her to take it back (shut up Rosh!). She insisted I take it. I did.

Kind of embarrassing, but fuck it.

I hope it was the gesture she was thinking of, as opposed, to thinking I am some desperate low stakes grinder. I am sure it was.

I am desperate for a winning session tonight, my bankroll is getting really tested. But I believe in myself, and I will come through this.

I hate fat people.