Is there anything anymore annoying than deciding to leave at a certain time, but for one reason or another you end up staying a little longer, and lose a bunch of money?

Ahhhhh! I was pumped up last night, putting another solid session at The Empire, when The Horse rocks up with a couple of dealers from The Vic and I end of juicing off about £400.

Fucking cunts! (Just kidding!). For the record Rob didn't come down with the dealers, they came before he did, nor were they talking or socialising, nothing like that. So can we stop the Ban The Horse From The Vic campaign? Its getting old already.

I cant feel too bad but I really did have one of them really frustrating days.

I got my money in good against short stacks several times on the flop only to be outdrawn. These pots really do add up over a long session, and can effect the flow of a session.

If you manage to fade a short stack's flush draw and pick up a £80-£160 pot, this can really force the momentum of the session in your favour. Whereas when you lose these pots, you naturally tighten up, and there is a negative shift in momentum.

Also in one particular pot I flopped top set verses Sy's nut straight, on a board of 10 6 9 rainbow. 3 way pot I found myself sandwiched in between Rob The Horse and Syko Sy.

Rob check called my flop and turn bets, and Sy hoping for Rob to make a move called behind both streets, and raised my river bet (once The Horse open folded the brick river). The way the hand played out, and the amount of money in the pot, I reluctantly had to call Sy's raise, which is pretty much always going to be the nuts.

That hand was the icing on the fucking shit cake for me, I should of gone at 7am, but found myself playing short handed with two of probably the best, toughest low-mid stakes NLHE players in London. Weeee...love the game selection...

Imagine looking across the table at these two beasts! I dare you to squeeze or 3 bet light these mother fuckers, they defend with more aggression than a bum raped mother goat!

The egos...go to battle!

June is coming to a decent close, I am in the midst of a £2.5k upswing, and continue to feel immensely motivated (though very exhausted).

Taking tonight off to hang out at home and eat myself to obesity!

Weeeee....

I am done with The Vic...(and my fat belly!)...

I just had a large chicken doner and large chips. I knew I would feel really bad afterwards, but I couldn't stop myself. I had been thinking about it all day.

To make matters worse I haven't been to the gym for my 5k runs in a while, and I really do feel fat. Well its actually a fact, according to Nintendo Wii Fit, I am overweight!

I currently weigh 82.5 Kilos, on a positive note I did weigh 84.2 Kilos at the start of June, and even though I have pretty much done nothing but eat and play poker, I have managed to lose some weight.

I just love eating. I eat a lot. I eat when I get bored, I eat when I am hungry, and I eat when I lose! I am going to get back on track I promise! Before I turn into a Malik, and all jokes aside, it is a possibility. I bet Malik was a young stallion back in his days! (For the record I love Malik, and mean no disrespect, he is probably the coolest guy at The Vic, and wish him the best of luck in the world!).

And I really have to cut down on the Red Bulls...

Healthy living personified...

So onto the poker news...and bad news for most the The Vic residents, I am sorry to say I will no longer be playing there.

As I have mentioned previously I have been contemplating taking my action across to The Empire for a while now, and it has got to a point where the pros out weigh the cons.

I had commented on the standard of play being worse at The Empire and the games being softer etc. But to be fair, the standard of play at The Vic is pretty poor too.

Well pretty poor is an understatement, you will find some of the most fucking retarded mother fuckers playing at The Vic.

There are several regulars who are very solid, decent poker players (very few), there are also regulars who are really awful. Really fucking bad. They have no poker minds, no fucking thought process, no-hope-a-trons!

They will come in day after day, curse their luck when they lose, and spread the news when they win. Card reliant idiots who convince themselves that they are long term winners in the game, when at best they are break even contributors to the rake.

The "old school" guys. Who smile, talk to you, crack jokes when they are winning (not often), and frown and give you dirty looks when they are losing.

"...do your fucking money already you fucking old cunt...I don't care what you fucking think...I have no fucking respect for you...nor do I fucking care what you think of me...and don't fucking try and intimidate me...because you don't..."

I walked into the card room at The Vic on Sunday, and the moment I did, I knew this was the last fucking regular session I would play there.

The "punters" that The Vic attract put me on life tilt without even playing with them. They play a shocking form of "bingo poker". They will do their money, but they will do their money very slowly, long term losers are no good to me.

I need dynamic, explosive, excited, ideally drunk cunts who want to do their money money hard and fast! These creatures habitat The Empire.

Don't get me wrong, where ever you find fish you find sharks (or decent players), so game selection is of paramount importance over there.

Last night I moved tables 4 times, and re positioned my seat 6 times at a table in order to capture my prey!

Why should I grind out these old timers (putting up with all the shit that comes with them), when I could be busting up on the drunk and tourists, who feel they have an allocated "time slot" to lose all their money?

I am done with The Vic.

I am in the process of putting together a new "play book" for The Empire (a series of constantly evolving strategies -which adapt to game conditions), so I am not in a definitive position to comment on the "correct" approach, but would say an approach which puts emphasis on hand value versus pot equity appears to be forming the foundation of my strategy (I will discuss this further soon...).

Though I shy away from being short term result oriented, I have managed to win just under £1,600 is 3 sessions, and am very encouraged by the action.

Again, I had intended to dissect a particular hand I played in the £1-£3 game Sunday night, but have managed to run out of steam, so it will have to go on the list of shit I need to cover.

Just heard from Rob "The Horse" Angood, who has been on a sick heater of late, and is currently "deep" in the £100 Rebuy...ONE TIME! Please don't blow up! Take this mother fucker down!

Bounce back hard...

I rocked up to The Empire at 3pm yesterday with sickeningly driven attitude to make £1k before I left the tables..

Fast forward 16 hours later I am sat at a £1-£2 game with £1,300 in front of me.

£700 profit. I am sure if I stayed I would of hit my £1k target, but I was actually near enough passing out.

Looking slightly beaten down after 16 hours...

After dropping £600 the other night at The Vic (which could of easily gone the other way), I went to bed and could not wait for the next day.

I was so fucking determined to get back on track. The motivation I have right now is unbelievable.

The worse I run, the more unfavourable my results, the more mistakes I make, the lower my hourly rate gets, the more determined I get.

A losing session is like throwing petrol in a blazing fire for me.

I have a played 19 sessions out of a possible 20, and clocked up 129 table hours this month! I pulled myself out of £1k hole, and I am so desperate to finish this month on a positive note!

Not sure how healthy it is, but fuck it.

Another set...another goat fucking...

I tell you what from time to time there are these situations which are fucking really important that they go your way.

Crucial moments which can not only swing a session, but have far further reaching ramifications.

You will have maybe 5 / 6 of these spots a year, seriously.

I am not talking about a simple stack off, there are various factors which contribute to making these moments.

Only when you have been (and past) the spot you know, that it was the spot.

No bad beats stories, because I don't care about that. But one thing for sure, I have lost in these spots every fucking time for the past 4 years.

Dropped over £600 yesterday, did nothing wrong.

I am off to The Empire, nice and early today and I am not coming home until I make £1k.

Fuck you cunts.

Playing through smelly retards...and recovering a month...

Before I start my usual frenzy of whining about retards, and how bad I play, and how fat I am yadi yaaaadddiii yaaaaa...I have to give a shout out to the sicko that is Jamie Roberts.

In his first World Series outing he cashed in 16th out of over 1,500 runners for just under $20k, and now that sick mother fucker is at it again!

He is 3rd in chips with 189 left (out of starting field of around 1,700), 20 left to the bubble with 1st prize over $500k. Such a sicko! One time please Jamie!



So while Jamie is out in Vegas playing in the fucking World Series, I am still stuck in seat 9 at The Vic, investigating bad smells.

Some people fucking stink, and the other night I had to endure 5 hours of it. What made it worse was, it seemed like I was the only one sensitive to it. It stunk really bad, and no it wasn't me!

On a positive note I am very slowly (and I mean very slowly) recovering from a £1k downswing from the start of the month.

I continue to find myself a victim of an "unfavourable" run of cards, and every time I find myself building some momentum (through what I call "ground and pound" poker), I get fucked like baby goat.

Last night I flopped top set (my first set since 1989), against the biggest whale since Free Willy, on a board of 10 5 6 (rainbow).

A straddle pot which was raised to £17, with multiple "trons" to the flop (whom all had deep stacks in play), I was giddy with anticipation.

Some how I managed to get heads up with "Willy" who hit the flop real fucking hard with 9 6 off suit.

So how exactly can a set of 10s, lose to 9 6 off on a board of 10 5 6? And what are the fucking chances?



Less than 2%, no problems! Turn 7, river 8. This hand cracked my resolve. I have only taken one day off this month (and work also has been crazy!), and as it was I was exhausted and mentally drained, this hand just pushed me over the edge!

Not too much though, I managed to pull myself together and play through it!

I have actually been playing good, and so I am fucking proud of myself!

I have been meaning to write up several keys hands (one involving Andre and Joe, when Andre folded top 2 pairs to a 2 bet in an unraised pot, and I know for a FACT Joe didn't have a set -but the thought process I managed to sponge out of the Bulgarian cunt is worth talking about...).

Also I wanted to discuss the 1, 2, 3 = adjust theory, and the importance (or what can be gained) from 3 betting light frequently.

But I cant be bothered right now! I will try and write some more tomorrow. I had planned to take tonight off, and just relax but I might go in on the 2am van.

I am desperately to bring this month to a good finish, and hit some numbers which might be worth talking about, I continue to play to earn the minimum wage! Here is an illustration of my month (far far away from my £2k month expectancy!).



I have applied for a job at McDonald's, and am awaiting a response. Fuck poker if I get it. Fingers crossed for Jamie for a bracelet, and fingers closed for me for a McDonald's job.

Weee....please let me hit a hitter

Rob Angood poll...

Shit...accidently deleted the previous post on Rob...

So here is the pictures for comparison.



Please vote!

A whole bunch of raising...and not much crushing...

I have been playing with an increased level of aggression since returning from my sessions at The Empire, and I genuinely feel I am back on the track to recovering my game.

Grinding the £1/£2 game can become very frustrating, in particular during periods of unfavorable form (I will try not to use the term "running bad").

When I was younger I knew a cat named Twinkle. For some reason Twinkle's owner felt the need to torment this poor creature.

He used to chase him around, smack him, flick his ears, twisser his whiskers, as an highlight he would sometimes put him in a plastic bag, and hang the bag on a coat hook.

RSPCA eventually caught up with him, and Twinkle was freed from a life of cruelty. But he was mentally scarred.

When someone went to stroke him he would flinch, if you went to pick him up, Twinkle would get very aggressive and try to free himself from your hold.

The experiences he recalled from his previous owner was hard to forget, and hence he behaved in a defence state.

I think I have been Twinkle, I went through a period of getting beaten up so bad, I got pushed into a corner, and began playing like a mentally scarred cat.

I stopped continuation betting dry boards, fearing that I would get check raised. I became a "fund raiser", raising a large range pre flop only to be passive post flop and give up on pots.

I started checking behind on turns (too often, the check behind is still a good play!), and even worse check calling multiple streets. Fish!

I became a fish! A bingo poker playing fish! Wow! But the only good thing I had going for me was that I wasnt blaiming variance for my poor results, but I acknowledged the fact that I was infact playing bad.

Now, I am back! Although my results have not shown much of an improvement, I am playing better, and I know its just a matter of time before I am rewarded.

So I feel a lot more positive today.

As I mentioned in my last post, I started playing on PKR.com, more for fun than anything else. I must say I love this site.

They have a steady flow of tournaments running throughout the day, with fields worth playing in but not so big that you have to play 8 hours to just make it past the bubble.

I stirred up a little bit of trouble on their forums with the following post...

http://www.pkr.com/poker-community/message.cfm?post=8a8eba2f-9fae-489b-b4de-cda3761e567e

I claimed that I would "crush" them all. Which I will! When I start running good! I have already made several final tables, weeee!

The PKR regulars have a great sense of humour, and I really enjoy the banter! I would love to take down some scores, to get some credibility behind me!

One of the guys made and posted this video about me...

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090613174819874

They were able to track me down, find out who I was and even find this blog! I love it! For you PKR guys, here I am in action CRUSHING...

"...fold fold fold..." (standard tournament strategy!)



"...I will crush you all..."



You will notice (from the back of my head) I shaved my hair off again. For those who know me, will know I do this once a year. I believe in letting the "brain air", if you look after your brain, it will look after you!

I also met up with a good friend last night, and celebrated his new freedom (after finishing the last of his exams for the year) over several bottles of Coronas at The Empire.

I got drunk, and played poker drunk! Lucky for me, the more drunk I get the tighter I play. I managed to hit a few hands, and booked in a win of about £250ish.

I even got a massage! Amazing! Overall I had a really good night with my buddy (I cant mention his name...because he might get in trouble!).

My friend got really unlucky when he managed to get all his money in pre flop with AK vs A2, and lose! What can I say the games are super good there!

Anyway, I better go for a run before my Sunday session at The Vic.

Please vote on the Rob Angood poll, a lot of money is riding on this!

PS I just bust out 37th in a $5 MTT on PKR, my KK ran into A10. Turn 10, River 10. Running like a dead monkey on there.

I run good at losing...and exporting....

Well I hope you admire my strong will to keep blogging through these tough times, because I am certainly proud of myself for doing so.

After a losing session, dark thoughts cross my mind for like 2-3 hours, these include to never step into a poker room again, fuck the blog, fuck the records (I have had enough of all the red losing sessions!).

But then I get myself home (doing 100mph hoping to crash and die!) and re focus. Listen to a few power songs...

And then everything is fine, and I look forward to my next session.

I lost about £600 last night (Thursday night) at The Empire, I actually thought I played pretty well. I think seeing Syko Sy and talking to him really inspired me.

I played aggressively, missed all my draws, and ran into some sick coolers.

I think The Empire is definitely a more profitable place to play than The Vic, but there are so many other significant factors which make The Vic my first choice of venue.

The Empire is like the Mecca for all retards. Seriously they all congregate there, and it was pretty awesome to see them all in one place. God bless you boys!

The rake is half of what it is at The Vic, and this alone is worth thousands of pounds.

The games as expected are super good. Its fair to say that the games at The Vic are tougher. The regulars at The Vic are better than the regulars at The Empire, and there are definitely more "dead money".

The turnover of players in the games are very quick. One mug does their money, the next one comes in, they do their money, the next one comes...its like a factory chain.

The dealers are OK I suppose (no where near The Vic team though), but the management are awful, they really don't have a fucking clue.

Logistics of getting there, parking, and safely getting home is an issue.

But the toasted sandwiches are well nice! No biscuits though!

I think I will stick to The Vic!

So as I was saying I dropped some money on Thursday night there, but came away with some great poker wisdom...he are some of the highlights...

"...I didn't really like my hand, but I had really good position..."

The guy was under the gun, he limped 7 4 off, and called a raise from late position, only to check fold the flop (face up).

"...all the blanks were my outs..."

The same guy gets his money all in on the flop with top pair versus his opponent's multi draw.

"...he had 24 outs....no no actually....19 outs on the turn..."

After some guy done his money with a flush draw on the flop, which improved to a flush draw + a gutshot straight draw. This guy actually used his fingers to add up the outs.

I returned to The Vic last night, and managed to make about £300 without really doing much. Always nice when things go right from the start, and you are not stuck.

I also (in my goal to live a balanced life this week) got some quality time with Gurdeep (my best friend). We played some tennis, and he gave me some good advise (similar to Tiia)...

I am currently playing an Omaha tournament on PKR, I didn't realise how much fun this site was. I love it. You can do so much with your character, its so funny! Down to the last 2 / 3 tables, and I barely know how to play Omaha.

Weee....

At least I still have my legs...

Fucking hell.

I just don't want to play anymore. Do you get that feeling? I really just don't want to fucking play anymore. I really don't.

I am playing awful, granted. No doubt, I don't try and deny that. I realise it, I see it, I know it.

But seriously the cards are not going my way at all. River after fucking river, helps these morons who get their fucking money in bad.

But the times I get my money in bad? Give me a river card? One time? No.

I really cant do it anymore. Not the cards, not the losing, I cant cope with the fucking retards. I sit there hours on end, listening, watching, smelling these fucking cunts.

I am so close to the edge its actually scary, there are several people, who if they said the wrong thing to me, I would actually throw a fucking chair at them. I don't care if I get fucking barred, might be a good thing.

Glad I am doing this "..week in the life of a balanced professional poker player..." thing. The reality is that playing poker (for a living) is not fun.

It is fucking horrible. Even when you are winning its only mildly enjoyable.

Well maybe that's a little bit extreme, it is OK I suppose if you stay on top of your game, and play good (and maybe run a little above average). But there is no doubt there are more enjoyable things in life.

I play because I expect to win, and make money. I don't play for the fun or enjoyment of it. I rather go out to a club, or go to the cinema, or go read my book at the park, or play tennis, or cook, or eat, or fucking pretty much do anything else but poker.

But I play because I have an expectancy to win (not on a given day, or a given week or a given month, but in the long run).

I am frustrated because I am pretty much showing nothing for my hours of torment. Well to be exact, I am earning £2.70 per hour for my fucking troubles. I rather fucking work at McDonald's during the evenings and earn double that (plus get fucking food for free).

£2.70 an hour, for this shit! Fuck my life!

That out of the way now, let me tell you what else I have been up to, because as I say I am "...a balanced professional poker player..." this week.

Monday, I went for my 5K run, slept until about 12pm, then went out to meet Tiia. One of the funniest friends I have (of the few friends I have left...), and she gave me some good advise (click on the photos to enlarge).

Well I do feel better now I suppose. I am seriously considering playing at The Empire for a few sessions to clear my head.

Fuck you.

A week in the life of a balanced professional poker player...

I have the week off work this week, and I will trial a balanced schedule of poker (work) and social time (play), in additional to time dedicated to improving my health.

Playing for a living can apply an unsustainable amount of pressure, especially during difficult spells. You can find yourself trapped in a very unpleasant place, and at times feel very lonely.

Looking back at my experiences when I was pretty much sole dependent on a poker income, I cringe at all the mistakes I made (not at the poker table, but life choices).

So this week I will fulfill the role of a balanced professional poker player (balanced yet a very high volume and hard working one!).

The week didn't really get off to a good start yesterday (Sunday). I actually got out of bed around 5pm.

I had a cup of tea and a Kit Kat, had a shower, got dressed and made my way to The Vic.

I felt I really wasted the day, this weekend London had the most amazing weather, hottest temperatures, the bluest skies, the women were out in their fucking herds in parks wearing no more than their skimpy little bikinis covering up their...(getting carried away sorry!).

The closest I got to enjoying this "weather" was seat 8 next to Doctor Malic or in bed cuddling up to Arnold (my trustworthly alligator).

Not a good look.

Anyway, so I got to The Vic just in time for the £75 bounty tournament, with only a field of two tables, and a 4k starting stack. I knew my edge was huge, so I registered in to play, and of course as I always look out for my friends I advised Rob to do the same. Incidentally Rob was doing an Issac impression at the time! I swear to god he was!

Cut through to the final table, I busted 5th (top 3 paid), 88 vs A6, for a 16k pot (at 300-600). Same old shit, I was just disappointed because Rob had made the final table (with a healthy stack), and had really hoped to CRUSH HIM heads up.

Oh well, Rob got his money in bad like he has been doing all month (severe sarcasm obviously) with AK vs K4, and got goat fucked (Google: Rob fucked a Goat for more information...).

At least he got some money, what with the prize money and the bounties. I got nothing. Not even a fucking bounty.

So off I went into the cash games stuck £86, meh I am doing nearly £1k in tournaments this year so whats fucking new!

Played through until 6am, and managed to make £111. Giving me a total profit for the day of £25.

Meanwhile I am left with Rob "The Horse" Angood, counting out a profit for the day of over £1k. Must be fucking nice! Good luck to you Rob, hopefully this might be a sign of things to come in June, you have had enough beats to fill your quota for the year.

But for fuck sakes please could you buy some new shoes...

I got myself into a couple of really tough spots, and I still don't know if I made the right play or not. I am finding myself lost during hands, and I really am making some significant mistakes.

Low in confidence and really questioning my game. Rob and Rosh keep talking about this thing called "tells", every time I ask them about a hand, they will say "...did the guy look strong..", or "...did you pick up anything from him...", or "...its very situational...", bla bla bla.

What the fuck? Well I really think I need some help boys, and I would appreciate it if you could spend some time giving me the 101 on tells, as I really do not look for any during my decision making process. My shit is based solely on betting patterns. I suppose its like my diet, all meat no vegetables.

So I finished at 6am , and went for my daily 5k run at the gym at 7am. Felt great. Going to do this all week.

I weight 84.2 Kilos (I think the machine works in kilos), and I want to see how much I can lose this week, by just running more, and eating less.

I am meeting Tiia later this afternoon (play time), before my session at The Vic at 7pm.

A low in confidence but an upbeat Yigit.