Felt pretty ill last night, so stayed home to grind comps online.
Went super deep in a $30k guarantee ($8k up top).
I was 2nd in chips with 12 remaining, and with my past failures I got Ramey and Pratik to guide me through the final stages.
Unfortunately it was not meant to be and I bubbled the final table. I am very gutted to be fair.
I really have been working hard on my game. Yeah we all work hard, but man seriously hear me when I say this, I am one fucking hungry dude! I want success. But I keep falling short.
Please man one time!
Anyway, I know its coming! And you know what its like a mental block at the moment. I get deep ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I get to final tables, I get to final 5 players, I get to final 3 players and sometimes I have even got heads up, but I never for one minute think I am going to win.
If I bink one, I feel like its going to fucking rain! Its like that wall theory for runners I think, or something like that. You know you hit a wall, and you cant run any more, but if you get pass that point once you know you can do it, so every time you find yourself in that same spot you know you are going to be OK!
I want to be OK!
I am still so ill though. I want to grind tonight, catch the Sunday fish at The Vic, but I really should not go in. But I do have Monday and Tuesday off and I should take advantage, but I need to get better.
Might stay home and grind online. Oh I had to go to work today. Dire. Not worth it. The money I am on at JD is not worth getting out of bed for (but I do even when sick!), especially compared to the earning potential I will have if I played full time poker.
Meh.
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