Week of Grind

So currently on a stomach churning £6k down swing since flying out to Galway for the UKIPT.

Meh.

Obviously been finding it hard to get motivated to grind. Just cant be fucked to drive to The Vic do my money and come home. Its different when you are winning, you want to play, you want to print.

I know this. I know everything which can happen during a bad run, emotionally and the effect on your game. I have been here before. And to be fair, even though I feel sick, the reality is I am handling it better than I have ever before. Well at least at the tables. I am not playing bad. And on the surface I am keeping it together.

But man I feel so so so so....well its a mixture of emotions. So many stuff. I feel like a failure. But worse let I feel and this is kind of sad but...I feel like I have committed so much of my life to poker that I really see it as my way out, you know get rich and make something of myself through poker. I have given up so much to poker. And it feels like I have only poker left as an option. And I am failing to get any success.

It gets me down. Playing £1-£2 gets me down. Not beating £1-£2 gets me down. It all pretty much gets me down.

But I am OK, this stuff I am feeling, I cant fight. Or resolve. Just need to keep my chin up keep moving, keep playing! So week of grind!

I put in 8 hours last night (SUNDAY!!!!!) and lost £200
Going in now for a minimum 5 / 6 hour session.